They say to write about what you know, unfortunately Anxiety is something I’ve come to know all too well. And as much as I’ve always wanted to deny it, my family has suffered from it, and continued to pass it on generation after generation.
No one wants to be a personal expert experiencing the debilitating effects of anxiety, but the more I’ve talked about it openly, the more common I’ve found it to be. There are numerous medical studies, personal interviews, and expert opinions on the topic; but there’s just nothing that compares to going down the rocky path personally.
It’s been a little over fifteen years that my own anxiety issues peaked. Things I’ve never written about include the embarrassing daily effects that I just couldn’t talk about while they were happening:
- pulling my own hair out piece by piece until I had balding spots
- picking at my skin trying desperately to get rid of any blemishes
- literally freezing in place without even realizing it
- (I’m actually freezing up now while trying to type this,…my mind just stops, goes completely blank)
Today I’m choosing to start talking about this openly. I know I’m not alone in any of this. If this personal healing journey will ever have a chance of working, I have to be completely honest about the biggest struggles.
Here’s to finding the peace in the pain
the joy in the day
the smiles amidst the rain
Anxiety Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster – even though we think we know what it means, it’s amazing how helpful reading through the technical definition of an emotional condition can be.
Live, Laugh, Love with everything you’ve got while you still can! 💜✨ Thank you so much for stopping by. I truly appreciate and value you all here.
I think everyone has some level of anxiety. It’s just part of being human. But, unfortunately, some of us have more than our share. It has helped me to realize that the way I am is partly (or mostly?) due to genetics. It takes the “blame” off of me personally. But, really, isn’t it okay to be me–just the way I am? We are each individuals with very unique characteristics. No one else is exactly like me. No one else is exactly like you. Isn’t that marvelous?? Life is full of magnificent variety!
Oh I love the part about being ok to just be me. I believe that wholeheartedly,….I have come to realize that there’s a lot about me that others may never be able to understand or relate to,…working on the part now where that doesn’t bother me.
I never want to blame any of my own actions and ways on my genetics, but boy have I learned the hard way that it is a very real thing. Some of us had a much harder and unhealthy upbringing. Mine for example, my gma was extremely paranoid, anxious, and a huge personality. The effects carried into my mom and then into myself.
I’m working on putting an end to it. But have to grant myself some grace and know that I am trying, I am a work in progress.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here!! 🙏🏻
Howdy Introvert!
As someone who has only recently, and by recently, I mean in the last twenty years, awakened to my own issues with anxiety and as a parent who is watching anxiety grip my daughter’s life, it is clear that someone of us are born with high levels of anxiety. My daughter has not had any reason to be as anxious as she is. One of my main goals when she was born was to give her the life that I didn’t have: free of emotional and physical abuse, stable loving environment. She has had all of that.
That said, other people see your anxiety reactions, they don’t make sense to them because they don’t see anything that should cause that amount of anxiety in you. I KNOW about anxiety and I still find myself looking at my daughter and thinking “what’s wrong with her?” because nothing has happened to cause that amount of anxiety.
Other than taking meds — I’ve found Lexapro to be the best all round mood stabilizer for me — I’ve found a conscious effort to relax and release the anxious emotion surrounding an intrusive memory to be the most effective.
I really appreciate your sharing this. It is hard to write about your own mental health. You leave yourself vulnerable to the reactions of others. But, if we’re really going to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health, we’ve got to be more open about our own issues and accepting of those of others.
Thanks for letting us in on your journey. I hope it can ease a little bit of your burden.
Huzzah!
Jack
Our paths sound similar here. My kids are young adults now. I tried desperately to hide my anxieties, trying to give them a better chance of not getting theses feelings. But you’re right, they saw it in my reactions over the years. I’m five years into true self work, and thankfully they see this too.
As I keep telling myself in my ACOA meetings, grant myself Grace. I did the best I could with what toolbox I had.
Thanks so much for sharing here. Here’s to good health!